Every month it appears to be the same way, choosing between such luxuries as food or insurance for the house. Finances are undoubtedly one of the major causes of divorce in our society today. So how do we do it? How do we pay those bills every month without feeling resentment, anger, and hatred?
This month I have found myself in the wonderful position of literally having $30.00 until the next payday two weeks from now. Yes all the bills are paid, but $30.00 on which to hold a family of five for two weeks doesn't amount to much when you still haven't bought groceries. Especially when you get the nice welcome I got from my step daughter yesterday, that of, "Mom I lost my jacket at school and can't find it, I need a new one." Situations like this are where I just have to walk away for a while before I respond.
If I respond how I would like, making her wear one my jacket to school, then I feel guilty because of the response I believe she will receive upon wearing an oversize jacket. If I respond fine, I will go buy you another one, there goes all the money I have to pay for gas and food in the next two weeks. Times like this put a huge strain on a step family.
I am ashamed to say, I called the hubby and let him have it! I yelled, "how are you going to take care of this?" over the phone while he was at work. Not my brightest moment, but still a moment where I feel justified. In the end what did it get me? Nothing. I am no better off than I was before and now he is stressed out at work.
Thinking that this just won't work, I have a plan, I am off to the plasma donation center again. As for the next month well that will hit me and all of us too soon.